Tracking a phantom

After our first chance encounter, I did not really think about Arnold all that much. With two young kids and a part-time job I keep pretty busy.  Time passes quickly and things like whether the hearing in one ear is slightly worse than in the other ear just don't make the priority.

So about two months later, near the end of October 2011, I scheduled an appointment to visit my doctor, Dr. W, for a number of physical ailments, including asking about my hearing.  Apparently once you pass 30, stuff starts to not work as well as it used to.  I was having muscle spasms along with recurring aches and pains.  I figured I had better check into those to be sure I was not causing any permanent damage.

At the end of my appointment I mentioned my hearing loss.  She checked my ears to be sure they were free and clear.  She said she would request a hearing test for me.  She also said it is a little concerning that I only have hearing loss in one ear.  If the loss were in both ears, she would chalk it up to old age and playing my music too loud.  But, since it was asymmetrical hearing loss, she thought there was a possibility of a tumor causing the loss.

I went straight away up to Audiology and scheduled my hearing test.  They could get me in at the beginning of December.  That was the best they could do and it seemed there was no urgency, so I scheduled it.

About a week later, while working on my computer at my daughter's dance class, I decided to do a little hearing test of my own.  I played music and listened to it through my ear bud headphones.  I left the right ear bud out and listened only with the left ear bud.  Then I put that ear bud into my right ear and could tell there was a significant difference in the sound.  I also did the same with the right ear bud to rule out a difference in hardware.  The music was distorted and much fainter in my right ear.

I would not say I panicked, but it definitely raised my concern level.  This hearing loss is real and I think it is getting worse.   As one of our five major senses, it is not something I am prepared to lose.  I want to get it fixed as soon as possible.  So, I emailed Dr. W and asked if there was anything she could do to get my hearing test moved up. Fantastically responsive on e-mail, she responded quickly and said someone would be calling me shortly and she had asked them to get me in within the week.

The very next Tuesday I had a hearing test with Dr. K.  She found mild to moderate asymmetrical high frequency sensorineural hearing loss in my right ear.  And, my WRS (Word Recognition Score) was really low, only 30%.  She referred me to their ENT department.

So, now I know I have hearing loss in my right ear.  I have an audiogram to prove it.  How do we fix this?  How do I get my hearing back?  What will the ENT say? Will it keep getting worse and worse?  Can I make it get better?  What did I do to make this happen?  So many questions and such uncertainty filled my head and there was nothing to do.  I just had to wait and meet the ENT and see what he had to say.

That Friday I met with Dr. S.  He confirmed hearing loss and suggested we could attempt to treat it with steroids.  Sometimes if they catch the hearing loss early enough, treating with steroids can help, but that was a shot in the dark and I did not like the sound of that.  He was not telling me why I had hearing loss nor that there was a definite plan of action or cure for what was happening.  Seemed like all he could tell me was, "Yup, you've lost hearing in your right ear."  Well, duh?!

He did recommend an MRI.  He touched on Acoustic Neuromas, but said he did not expect to find anything on the MRI.  I guess that was meant to comfort me, but I did not find it comforting.  I wanted to know why I was losing my hearing.  I wanted to attribute it to something real and physical.  I could not accept that it was just going away for no reason at all.  At least if it was an acoustic neuroma that is something tangible and concrete.  Yes, it will complicate everything, but at least the hearing loss will no longer be a mystery.

At this point I knew no more than when I came into the appointment.  I was so confused and frustrated, the last thing I wanted to do was try to explain to someone else that I knew absolutely nothing.  I could not bring myself to call my mom or even my husband.  What was there to say?  

All I could say was there was more waiting.  First waiting for my audiogram.  Then waiting for the appointment with the ENT.  Now waiting for my MRI.  Waiting for what?  Some sort of phantom to finally appear?